tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post2831303613101058552..comments2023-06-01T06:18:53.975-07:00Comments on Narcissism Support Resources: Grieving the RelationshipAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14330003648158273927noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-27000914160603482482016-07-26T03:32:01.804-07:002016-07-26T03:32:01.804-07:00You will! I was abandoned by a narcissist of three...You will! I was abandoned by a narcissist of three years (we have a two year old ) five days ago, he has started using drugs again and was giving me the silent treatment for days until today he broke in to my apartment and stole a Elmo costume that was meant for our daughters birthday which is in less then two weeks, he left us high and dry no groceries or food, it was extremely sudden but as theAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08667635741595931397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-66838923877264463682016-06-24T10:26:09.473-07:002016-06-24T10:26:09.473-07:00Where do I start. Maybe firstly thank you for reco...Where do I start. Maybe firstly thank you for recognising the difference between a break-up with a normal person and a break-up with a N. My therapist doesn't seem to understand my anger, and particular pain about discovering my ex is a N. I can only repeat what many people have already said on this web site. My ex was a certain way in the beginning, caring, attentive, respectful, loving and Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-46432409721124938742015-05-10T02:41:59.352-07:002015-05-10T02:41:59.352-07:00I find all the posts and stories of your lives ext...I find all the posts and stories of your lives extremely helpful to understand my own N-experience and see how far the reasons reach back into my childhood experience of N-abuse. Recently I found a comment on a website that stated one's peptide-levels go up when being in N-abuse, so one gets addicted to the mix of idealisation, devaluation, discard. Thinking over this piece of information Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-40269160960489337352013-08-07T22:59:17.134-07:002013-08-07T22:59:17.134-07:00I would say (very unfortunately) that I have been ...I would say (very unfortunately) that I have been a serial narcissist dater/long term relationship haver for many years. The first was my high school boyfriend (whom I dated for 7 years - off and on) who swept me up, made me feel safe, and then later turned into a psychopath. We eventually broke up, but the saga of Narcissists did not end there. I wound up having a child with a complete Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-3608568428918699492013-05-22T22:50:13.825-07:002013-05-22T22:50:13.825-07:00Do not ever forget, regardless of your pain and su...Do not ever forget, regardless of your pain and suffering, that the greatest lesson you've learned is the immense love you are capable of. It may have not been returned. It may have been used and abused and even used against you. But thd bottomline is that you have loved deeply and intense. People like narcs are not able to experience such and thats their loss. Every time an event of the Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-80915722993355850422013-03-22T14:41:27.179-07:002013-03-22T14:41:27.179-07:00Those who have not had to deal with a narcissist a...Those who have not had to deal with a narcissist and subsequent break-up (romantic or platonic) can NEVER know the kind of damage it can do. Even the most empathetic friend. Only those of us unlucky enough to be in this club can truly understand what it does to a person. I have someone in my life (at work) who is definitely an N and I am fortifying my boundaries DAILY so that she won't Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-73990977994319351412013-03-16T05:01:58.018-07:002013-03-16T05:01:58.018-07:00I just now discovered this site and realized it wa...I just now discovered this site and realized it was written the day after I moved myself and my children out of our house in secret. Ex N had trapped us for a year by playing legal games and doing bizarre things. I was searching for help again because I found myself explaining yet another bizarre event to a police officer Four Years after the divorce. It's still happening and it is still Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-89023877186798970522013-02-26T12:59:52.066-08:002013-02-26T12:59:52.066-08:00I am just 2 weeks out of an 8 month relationship w...I am just 2 weeks out of an 8 month relationship with a psychopath/N, and I am so thankful to have come across this blog. All of your stories on here have really resinated for me...I am struggling a great deal with the grieving process, and constantly shift back and forth between (what I've researched is clinically called cognitive disonnence), what was my perecption of this charming, kind, Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-47483880803830762172013-01-22T17:10:10.034-08:002013-01-22T17:10:10.034-08:00I want to take a moment and thank everyone who pai...I want to take a moment and thank everyone who painfully had to share their experiences on here. Tears flowed as I read a biography of my past three years. I forced my female N out via OP a week ago and although the pain is almost unbearable I do find some comfort realizing it wasn't me and it has happened to others as well. Good luck in your healing. <br />Kevin.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12527942612458806162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-84496795362928511642012-12-24T13:55:00.779-08:002012-12-24T13:55:00.779-08:00Reading these posts has made me realise that my ex...Reading these posts has made me realise that my experience is not quite so unique.<br />11 years of a transatlantic relationship, spending thousands of dollars in travel only to be discarded without thought when I dared to get sick and not telephone him as often. I hung around for all of this time only because I wanted to 'heal' and support him. I was abandoned in very dangerous Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-56867823124147185772012-12-21T15:11:11.897-08:002012-12-21T15:11:11.897-08:00thankyou to people who have told their stories, i ...thankyou to people who have told their stories, i have just found out my friend of 40 years is a fully blown narcissist,what can i say but i am now beginning the grieving of disbeliefe that all this time i was an object to feed her ego.I have a struggle ahead of me. keep the post coming people we need each other.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-55265458171063222572012-11-01T05:12:06.388-07:002012-11-01T05:12:06.388-07:00I am four months out of a relationship with a N an...I am four months out of a relationship with a N and still undergoing psychology sessions to overcome the trauma. The grief from the ending of a normal relationship is vastly different from that of ending a relationship with a N. The effects of the relationship leaves the abused with such distrust, such emptiness, questioning constantly 24/7 of oneself and the N mentally. It is a roller coaster Angelanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-23563190658660774992012-11-01T05:03:41.172-07:002012-11-01T05:03:41.172-07:00I am four months out of a relationship with a N an...I am four months out of a relationship with a N and still undergoing psychology sessions to overcome the trauma. The grief from the ending of a normal relationship is vastly different from that of ending a relationship with a N. The effects of the relationship leaves the abused with such distrust, such emptiness, questioning constantly 24/7 of oneself and the N mentally. It is a roller coaster Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-62549030645609976482012-06-19T19:43:10.596-07:002012-06-19T19:43:10.596-07:00I agree with the above comment so much! I'm ri...I agree with the above comment so much! I'm right here with ya man. My ex N completely tore me apart. The lies, manipulation, the lack of empathy towards anything you might be feeling have completely left me in shambles. She left me and I continued trying to get her back because I cared and loved her so much(or at least the person I thought she was) always thinking I did something wrong for Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-20057045028918043952012-05-07T05:56:43.549-07:002012-05-07T05:56:43.549-07:00I am greiving the loss of an N the woman of my dre...I am greiving the loss of an N the woman of my dreams I thought she was...<br />Two and a half years of broken promises, mental, psychical and emotional abuse, manipulation, brainwashing <br />I feel like such a fool I'm hurting so much and so ashamed of letting her treat me the way she did over and over allways feeling sorry for her and sacrificing my own self respect, happiness and sanity Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-76593494650989527532012-02-27T15:10:18.433-08:002012-02-27T15:10:18.433-08:00Getting part of yourself back is not part of norma...Getting part of yourself back is not part of normal grieving.<br /><br />Thank you Anonymous! I separated from my N yesterday after starting an argument so I could get out of the relationship. I didn't trust him...PERIOD. How can you trust a N! They lie to everyone including themselves! The worst part is knowing you meant nothing to them...it's just that you're not bright and Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-11391389012787271992012-02-25T10:00:58.085-08:002012-02-25T10:00:58.085-08:00My partner of 4 years was married to a woman who h...My partner of 4 years was married to a woman who had Narcissistic PD, Borderline PD and Histrionic PD for over 20 years. She made his life hell, and it finally resulted in her murdering his 3 children to stop him gaining custody. This has had immensely far reaching effects to everyone concerned, and like ripples on a pool, the hurt goes on and on. Despite being in a happy relationship with me Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-91397049108206843142012-02-09T18:59:32.437-08:002012-02-09T18:59:32.437-08:00I am old enough to have lost significant people in...I am old enough to have lost significant people in my life, but the loss of the narcissist (in my case, my aging mother through NC) is unique.<br /><br />Fully letting go has left my mind significantly more quiet and left a strange emptiness.<br /><br />My brain's real estate that she claimed as her own, but was never hers is now mine. So while it is a good thing, it also presents a Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-47761697089465653402010-12-13T12:51:41.332-08:002010-12-13T12:51:41.332-08:00I still feel a sense of loss, and after 3 months o...I still feel a sense of loss, and after 3 months of not seeing the N, I keep questioning the entire "relationship" that never was. I feel insane yet I feel a calm that is growing. <br /><br />I realize I will never "get over it" as in a healthy relationship. I will soon forget him, but not the turmoil, and the lessons learned. No one knows the pain until you fall under the mgarnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10097421642669464845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-19894495729917213172010-08-19T22:49:38.993-07:002010-08-19T22:49:38.993-07:00I feel blessed that my N was only a fling really.....I feel blessed that my N was only a fling really...2 months on and then a couple months interaction/arguing via email and then I went NC.<br />I live in a town population 10,000 and yet somehow have not run into him for FOUR MONTHS . Then ran into him recently. Ignored him but he approached and was condescending and tried to start up a convo. I cut it off immediately and showed no emotion even Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-68006353239274598932010-07-23T15:43:24.431-07:002010-07-23T15:43:24.431-07:002 go arounds with the same N and i have finally le...2 go arounds with the same N and i have finally learned my lesson. although the relationship in total only lasted a year, almost every post i've read describes the relationship i have finally managed to end. yes, the intensity of those first few months of compliments, promises, romance, sex and then bang - the blindesiding, the criticisms (from everything to my long hair to my dish washing Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-16439043292760117442010-07-20T15:17:57.810-07:002010-07-20T15:17:57.810-07:00I stumbled on this site as well just coming out of...I stumbled on this site as well just coming out of a relationship with a N. Wow all my feeling wrapped up into every thing I have read here. Could never really put my finger on what I was dealing with till some one suggested by hereing me share in a Narcotics Anonymous meeting about what I was going through.I decided to get some info and came to this site. I have been in this relationship for Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-76133733055699229322010-06-21T05:00:16.232-07:002010-06-21T05:00:16.232-07:00I am sitting here absolutely distraught after the ...I am sitting here absolutely distraught after the end of a 7 year "friendship", my counsellor calls it a "quasi- relationship" with an N (a co-worker). I accepted this non relationship completely on his terms, occassional sex, flirting, etc. because I believed he was damaged and over time the relationship would flourish. I would be his friend when he needed me.When I read theAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-73727313617796760642010-06-08T19:42:24.333-07:002010-06-08T19:42:24.333-07:00I have stumbled on this site because for the past ...I have stumbled on this site because for the past 3 years I have had this man in my life that I thought was the one. He has made my life a living hell. He is in medical school with me and at the start of our friendship he is the one that initiated sex and romance. He was all about me for two months and then when I found out he had erectile problems he freaked out and didn't call for two weeksAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1461367031084175533.post-78071859773368261272010-06-03T03:19:48.043-07:002010-06-03T03:19:48.043-07:00The terrible thing about a narcissistic relationsh...The terrible thing about a narcissistic relationship is, that it prostitutes the highest human values – integrity, empathy, love, responsibility, caring. They all become perverted and turn into lies. The victim becomes a lifeless object - to be used, abused and discarded – with no human value - like a concentration camp inmate. I recently finally broke up with my abuser, and am struggling with Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01255241185093369376noreply@blogger.com