Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Art Of Seduction

I did not know I was seduced, except in retrospect. Did you know? He was charming, but I knew it and resisted it. He got to me with purity, though, this psychoGAYguy.

Did you know there are many ways to seduce that are not obvious and not always romantic? Seducers aren't always "bad boys". They can also represent themselves as "saints" or "healers" or "helpers"; they can be a man or a woman who is indifferent to your gender, and it doesn't even have to be a romantic relationship. Some are charismatic, some are "wounded", or a melange. All make you feel a singular object of concern and care,so special.

And before you know it , you feel all warm and fuzzy (that's the power of charm), full of fire and desire -it doesn't matter what the object is- they give us dreams and for a while, reflect them. Meanwhile, your most cherished beliefs become challenges, and the awful dissonance creeps in and begins to settle.

But by then they have hard-wired you to them- as those words of grace and warm gesture and song, all great knowledge and spirit turn to sharp, convoluted sheaths of steel. You have learned to exist in a camp that concentrates only on them, for your heart, psyche, spirit, have become barb-wired.

Do you see your reflection?

©2002-2009 InvictaMA Reproduction, even in part, by permission only

The Seductive Process

Phase One: Separation
Stirring Interest and Desire

1 Choose the Right Victim

2 Create a False Sense of Security-Approach Indirectly

3 Send Mixed Signals....

6 Master the Art of Insinuation

7 Enter Their Spirit

8 Create Temptation

Phase Two: Lead Astray
Creating Pleasure and Confusion

9 Keep them in Suspense-What comes next?

10 Use the Demonic Power of Words to Sow Confusion

13 Disarm Through Strategic Weakness and Vulnerability

14 Isolate the Victim

Phase Three: The Precipice
Deepening the Effect Through Extreme Measures

16 Prove Yourself

19 Use Spiritual Lures

20 Mix Pleasure with Pain

Phase Four: Moving In for the Kill

21 Give Them Space to Fall- The Pursuer is Pursued

22 Use Physical Lures

24 Beware the Aftereffects: ....


"If you are to stay in a relationship ....a second seduction is required. Never let the other person take you for granted- use absence, create pain and conflict, to keep the seduced on tenterhooks."


This brief but scary excerpt was brought to you by Robert Greene from his new book, "The Art of Seduction". It seems that many people are grateful for all the great tips the book provides. For more tantalising and shocking excerpts, go here:


Sandra said...

Oh wow ... my husband has this book. He is also a psychology major and a narcissist, and I have been totally stripped.

T... said...

My ex has this book, I found it in our house one time under the bed. Of course back then I was a little puzzled as to why he had a book like that. AFter we broke up, and the events that took place after, I googled the book to see what it was about and it literally put the fear of God in me. It all made sense now. Everything.

Cromwell said...

Omg,,,,,exactly what I am going throughout to the exact plan....he is at the phase iv inflicting pain, absence....thank you God for leading me here. Damn it hurts!!!!

Healing slowly said...

I have to respond to this...I just broke up with a narcissist. We've been together for just a few months but it's clear to me that even if he hasn't read this book, he was using the same techniques. He was so charming at first, and seemed so caring and genuine and warm. He made me feel like I was the most important woman in the world. The ways he could read my body language and anticipate my needs almost before I was aware of them, the way he made me feel so feminine and romantic, the incredible sex...all of these things kept me coming back despite the fact that we had serious arguments almost from the first day of the relationship.

But the mask began to slip more often as we spent increasing amounts of time together, and it didn't take very long for me to realize that this man has serious psychological problems and is dangerous to my mental health.

Despite my understanding of how toxic our relationship was, and how crazy and inadequate he made me feel, it hurts not to call him and beg him to take me back. I broke up with him but I feel like he left me. He hasn't called or tried to contact me once since I asked him to leave my home after he raged at me in front of my children. In some ways that hurts most of all: that he let me go. Isn't that twisted?

I'm starting therapy soon to figure out why I was such an easy target for this man.

Anonymous said...

@ healing slowly...they know you better than we know ourselves...they make you think you are the "special" one they have searched their entire life for...and we melt into that role of "special" with all our trust of mind and body...and all my life's saving account went as well...I wonder if we had the same N?? He just recently keeps trying to reconnect since the beginning of March...also with another girl but she has no idea of what he is and she was at suicidal level when he reconnected. I fear for her when he abandons her again as he has a tortured wife at home he keeps under his control...the N/psycho path words are a narcotic as they rape your soul

Anonymous said...

I read the comments on "The Art of Seduction" - I fell for the tactics nine years ago, four years ago I married him, despite having experienced his need to always have a second string, his oddities, awareness that his kids were emotionally neglected and lots more.

I was vulnerable when we met, I'd just got divorcedand I was lonely and felt unattractive. He courted me with dinners, weekends away, compliments. I blinkered myself to the rest of it and tried to help him and his kids.

Once married, living in his house the full extent of what I'd got myself involved in became apparent. I realised that he had a pocket full of texts to and from another woman as he said his marriage vows. In our shared desk I found transcriptions of porno texts to and from other women, and a porno letter to another woman describing their sex act (he'd kept them for years). When confronted he said he was insecure, and implied that I was oversensitive.

The lies, and blame laying continued and I realised that I was in a very disturbed family. My behaviour changed, I became a shrew and frequently lost my temper. He became frightened of me - understandably. Nothing made sense as my perceptions of what was okay became distorted. I felt like Alice talking to the Red Queen.

I had a nervous breakdown. I received no support but much self pity on his part. I filed for divorce.

He was on the personals immediately saying he just wanted someone to talk to. He always had an excuse for his behaviour. He took to leaving the house, sometimes overnight, turning off his cell phone. None of his friends know of his behaviour and he has inserted a clause in the divorce that I am forbidden to reveal the particulars of why I divorced him.

I'm an intelligent, attractive woman with broad experience of life and travel. I think these things were attractive to him when we met but then he set about undermining me. He was subtle, nothing overt, but gradually I lost self confidence and self esteem.

He left to rent an apartment five days before Christmas in order to date. This was awful at first but I'd got myself a good therapist by then (he'd refused couples' therapy and tried one to one for six weeks but stopped as he said he didn't get on with the therapist). I think it was too uncomfortable for him as he has a facility for manipulating women and maybe found he could not do so with her.

I fought hard, got myself a good lawyer and learned not to be open or trusting. By now I understood that my expectations that he would have some moral centre were unfounded. I became watchful, careful, non-revealing and smart. It saddens me that I had to become this person in order to deal with him, I had to meet him on his ground. But I did it and freedom beckons.

After he left I put my profile on a dating site. Not because I wanted to date, I needed reassurance that I was still attractive. In retrospect - I find this sad. I didn't search for men until I was housebound and did so out of boredom. He'd followed me on to the site with a nom de plume associated with my heritage. Following his lead, I have never mentioned this to him. He is going out with a woman who appears a typical victim: Needy,just separated who wants to be pampered, dates, dinners and weekends away. I feel sick that he has learnt nothing, just following the same old pattern.

I know that he is unable to learn from experience and has no conscience about preying on such women.

I'm away in a few weeks to another town - I can't wait to leave this behind me.

Anonymous said...

The book is a cult manual of sorts just like the 48 laws of power, the pickup artist culture has used this book for men to become better with women. But these men really have no idea how dangerous the book is, some dont care. The book just promotes abuse, so if you or anyone you know uses it i would let them know how unhealthy and dangerous the book is, if they disagree they are probably already too deep in their narcissism. These are the kind of books that people think are cool because they look complex on the inside and have many sources, but lots of sources and a complex book do not translate to "its good for you". Just because a book looks good and complex doesn't mean it is, although by good i mean "its not good for development". The book is NOT a self development book, no decent psychologist would give you this book.

If you become the tactics in the book you become the corrupt people in the book.. anyone can be successful in life, the problem with this book is that it is promotes a "dark side" path to getting success. Greene makes no effort to tell you how dangerous the book is so hes probably secretly a sociopath himself; in an interview he said "im not evil". Well its hard to believe him when he writes books that are centered around deceiving and lying to people, not to mention the content. If you do purchase the book use it simply to teach you the manipulative things people do, but never use it as a "this is how i should live my life, i should use these tactics" type of book because if you then yes you will end up narcissistic, histrionic and sociopathic.